Sunday, April 11, 2010


Its strange how grief can just hit you out of the this evening. I was laying in bed, watching TV...then when I turned off the lights and tried to go to sleep all I could think about was my Gram and how much I truly miss her! I thought about our last day together. I thought about how I wish she would call me. I thought about her laying on the floor and me telling her goodbye and that she was my hero. I thought about how lost I have been these last three months since she passed away. All I could do was cry. I had to get up out of bed and decided to blog to maybe help get it out of my system...but I don't think this feeling will EVER be out of my system!

I feel like the last three months I've been living someone elses life. Kind of like I'm in a dream. I would have thought reality would have kicked in by now and I'd be OK....but I'm not. I'm not the same Trina I all. I don't smile or laugh as often. I am a sad person. Depression Sucks A$$!!

Well, I guess I'll try to sleep...I wanted to put this picture in the slide show and my Gram's memorial but my Aunt wouldn't let me...feels appropriate I love her!


Kimmy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Trina! I know it's hard. I wish there was something I could do or say to make the sadness go away. I can do this...*virtual hug*...(((HUG)))!

BTW...that's a great pic!! LOL

Denise said...

((((((((((BIG HUGE HUGS))))))))) I love you. And no...the feeling will never go away. BUT it will fade. I miss my grandma immensely too. There are SO MANY times I want to pick up the phone and call her to tell her something. There are SO MANY times I want to go see her. HER. Not her gravestone.

Sometimes, when I feel that way, I close my eyes and I can hear her. I can hear what she would say to me when I want to call her. It makes me laugh sometimes. It warms my heart sometimes. It makes me cry sometimes. BUT it's a part of life...we will endure it and it sucks.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's sure hard isn't it? You can tell you really really loved her. I know she loved you too!

Trina said...

Thanks girls...My heart is half empty at this moment. There is just so much going on that I feel like I can break at any moment =(
Your support means the world! Love you!